Unexpected Kindness
by SchizoInsanity
Summary: Mr. Snippy is miserable and thinks about dying a little too much. A cold, snowy night is about to change all that because his Captain is about to show him how much he cares about his Snippy Sniper.


**Note from Zee Techie:** This is my first attempt at a one shot for this. My other is a chapter thing and I'm hoping that doesn't suck as much as this probably does. I'll accept constructive reviews but if you start flaming…they will be ignored and used to make cocoa for Mr. Snippy.

…

Sometimes life could be unbearable and make you miserable.

That was how Sniper felt right now. He could still feel the pain from when Cancer pierced his body with its deadly tentacles, connecting to his brain and reading all his thoughts; all his memories. He could perfectly recall his chest heaving, dying for air as he ran for his life. But none of that mattered, at least not to his Captain and the other two squad members. They brushed it off like it was dust on their shoulders. What did he expect, for one of them to offer comfort or sympathy?

He would be foolish to think that.

So here he was, perched on top of one of the numerous broken buildings. His knees were drawn up, head hanging down; hugging his rifle close to his chest. It brought him no comfort but it was the only thing that he could hug without it wanting to kill him or him wanting to kill it. He was almost sure that no one would know where he was. When he departed the Captain was giving orders to the other two. It was the perfect time to slip away.

Sniper lifted his head up and looked towards the sky, "Bwah! It's snowing?"

Indeed it was.

Little cold flakes of white were slowly drifting down from the sky. A few landed on the blue lenses of his goggles but they melted almost immediately. Was it some sort of miracle? Or was this just the beginning to another disaster? Knowing his luck, it was another disaster that would end with him getting harmed.

_'Can't harm me if they don't know where I am.'_ He reminded himself. Knowing that he was risking a lot he removed his gas mask and goggles, setting them aside. The little flakes snow kissed his skin, sending little shudders of cold through his body but it didn't bother him. He dropped back, resting flat on his back. Piercing blue eyes stared up the sky, watching as the snow fell. It started to collect around him.

"Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll freeze to death or die from exposure to radiated snow." He mumbled to himself, "Whichever comes first."

…

When he awoke he found that his body was numb.

He was still outside, lying under the now dark sky. Snow was still falling from gray clouds. It felt colder than when he first came out here. He looked down and found that there was a blanket of snow covering him. He groaned and allowed his head to fall back to the ground.

"Finally awake, Mr. Snippy? That was quite zee nap you took!" He nearly jumped when he heard that familiar German accent. He rose up but regretted it when a surge of pain coursed through him. He bit back his yelp and turned, finding his Captain standing there. His trademark mug was in his hand, steam rising from it.

"How did you find me?" Sniper asked. Zee Captain chuckled and took a sip from his trusty straw.

"I always know where my Sniper is." The Commanding Officer replied. Sniper didn't know whether to be creeped out by the fact that the Captain always knew where he was or that he referred to him as 'his'.

"Don't you have two others boobs you could commanding?" Sniper asked. Blue eyes narrowed in irritation. Zee Captain walked closer and took a seat next to the marksman, taking another sip of his drink.

"They are already doing my bidding!" Zee Captain said as he set his drink aside, "Mr. Snippy, I understand it is cold outside but is it smart to have a blanket made of snow?"

The marksman looked down and realized that more snow had accumulated onto him. He quickly brushed it off, sitting up and huddling into himself for warmth. He was actually jealous that his Captain managed to get himself a warm drink, who cares if it was radioactive? It was cold, he was freezing; it was like his Captain was mocking him.

"Something wrong, Mr. Snippy?" Zee Captain asked as he turned to his minion. The marksman said nothing, "You know your skin is starting to match your eyes."

The marksman said nothing as he dug through the snow and found his equipment, quickly putting it on before his skin froze off, "It is a lovely shade of blue."

Did his Captain just compliment him?

The marksman turned and stared at his Captain with confusion. The man was egotistic, radioactive moron who degraded his minions by making them perform foolish tasks. But he just complimented him, right? He had to know!

"What was…?" Sniper asked.

"Your eyes, what else would I be talking about? You need to think before asking questions, mein Snippy Sniper." Zee Captain said with a chuckle as he took another sip, "I am running out of cocoa…best to get more!"

That was hot chocolate?

"Come, Mr. Snippy! We are fetching more hot chocolate!" Zee Captain declared as he rose from his spot and yanked his marksman up with him. Sniper felt pain course through his waist on down. His whole lower half was numb and the quick motions only bothered his poor frozen legs more, "Is everything alright, Snippy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Best to just ignore it, he already knew that his Captain wouldn't care anyway, "Let's just get moving."

"Then onward we go!" Zee Captain said as he drank the last of his cocoa before tucking the mug away into his coat. He reached over and grabbed onto Sniper. The marksman let out a loud 'bwah' as he was hoisted off the ground and into the arms of his Captain, "We must make haste, Mr. Snippy. I shall carry so we may get back to our base quicker."

Was this another 'don't complain' moment?

…

When they returned to the base Sniper realized that Engineer and Pilot were missing. He didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed. If they had been home then they would see him in his compromising position and Pilot would most likely be plotting his death. But since they weren't home that meant he was alone with his moronic Captain.

"Stay here while I get more cocoa!" Zee Captain said as he dropped Sniper onto the tattered couch. The man vanished into what could be called 'the kitchen'. They called a broken, rundown home their base. There wasn't much left to it but what did you expect? It was the wastelands.

_'Why couldn't he just leave me to die?'_ Sniper thought as he stretched out along the couch. He removed his mask and goggles, tossing them onto what remained of the table. He curled into a ball and closed his eyes, _'Too tired…to think…'_

"Mr. Snippy, share the couch!" Zee Captain demanded as he walked back into the room. The marksman almost pouted as he moved into a sitting position. He was cold and tired; part of him hoped he'd die in his sleep. His Commanding Officer sat down and took a long sip of the chocolate substance.

"Where do you get hot chocolate anyway?" Sniper dared to ask.

"It was in zee cabinets, would you like some?" Zee Captain asked. Sniper was about to decline when he saw that his Captain was offering him his mug…and straw? The marksman was about to accept when he realized this could be a joke.

"No." He said firmly as he turned away. When he stole a glance he saw the mug was still being held out to him, so tempting, _'Fight it, Snippy! Don't let yourself be fooled!'_

"Come, Mr. Snippy! Have some! It is delicious! Not as delicious as me but all the same!" Zee Captain stated proudly. If Charles Snippy had any willpower at all, it flew out the window. He turned and accepted the mug. His piercing blue eyes stared at the straw for a moment before he wrapped his lips around it and took a sip. The warmth flooded his body, thawing it from the inside out.

"You tell no one we shared my straw! They would get jealous and all want a turn!" Zee Captain said, "But I'm willing to share with my Snippy."

The marksman nearly dropped the mug when zee Captain wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. He could feel the body heat radiating off the taller man or it could have the radiation. But it didn't matter at this point. He was warm and had a straw. He got a bit confused when he saw his Captain's hat on the table. They were soon followed by a gas mask, goggles with a purple eye piece and a cowl that covered what the gear couldn't.

_'No! He…he didn't! Did he?'_ Sniper thought frantically. He wanted to turn to confirm the truth but he was afraid of what he'd find.

"Something wrong, Mr. Snippy?" His Captain had a very thick German accent but without the mask muffling his words, it all came out clearly. He slowly turned and blue eyes widened in shock.

"You have a sexy beast for a Captain, ja?" The man asked. It was weird to see those lips move and that smile. Oh that smile could kill or make your insides melt. He had perfect white teeth, not one was out of place. His eyes were a vibrant violet; they practically glowed with mischief and confidence. His hair was the confusing part. It was uneven and blonde but here was the kicker, there were bright purple highlights. Where the hell did he find hair dye? Unless, he had it done before the war?

"Captain…" Sniper managed to choke out. He didn't even notice the mug slip from his grip. The German managed to catch it and placed it on the table.

"Your hands are trembling. Is it because you can't handle my awesome looks? Or are you getting sick?" Zee Captain suggested, "No matter! Let's go, we shall nap on my bed!"

Sniper didn't have a chance to protest because he swept off his feet and carried into the bedroom that his Commanding Officer claimed for his own. The bed was still in one piece with some damage. The blankets weren't in the best of conditions but they were thick and warm. He was tossed onto the bed where he was soon stripped of his coat and boots.

"Bwah! Captain, we can't…the others will come back soon! I don't-…!" He was silenced when his Captain placed two fingers onto his lips.

"Hush, my Snippy Sniper." Zee Captain said with a grin, "I have sent them on a task that is very difficult, so no worries!"

Sniper bit back a pout and watched as his Captain removed his long coat and boots, tossing them both to a corner of the room. He joined his minion on the bed and pulled the covers over them both, "There, isn't that much better?"

He wanted to agree but he kept his mouth shut and enjoyed the potentially radioactive warm that was emitting off his Captain. He dared to edge closer and bury his face into Zee Captain's arm. The purple eyed German looked down and grinned, "Ah, Mr. Snippy wants zee cuddling?"

What?

He didn't have time to process what happened because he was pulled close to his Captain. He could smell tea and mint on the German, it was intoxicating. Was it bad that he didn't find anything wrong with this? Was it wrong that he cuddled closer to his Captain? That he tightened his grasp, not wanting to let go? If it was, then he was definitely going to Hell.

Oh wait, he was already there.

"Don't worry, mein Snippy Sniper…I'm here." The German whispered into his ear. A small, warm shudder went down his spine. He buried his face into his Captain's chest and closed his eyes. Maybe, just maybe he could get a decent sleep.

…

He woke up alone.

Sniper wasn't surprised though. The other minions probably came home and Zee Captain was back to being an egotistical ass that demanded so much from him. He sighed and rose up from the bed and was shocked. The blanket was missing but in its place was his Captain's long jacket. A glance around the room and he found that his jacket was missing.

He heard voices beyond the room.

"Captain, where is your jacket? And why do you have that jiggly slug's jacket?" That was Pilot, "Did he steal it from you? Should I go and retrieve it from him, sir?"

"Nein, Pilot! I gave it to Mr. Snippy because he was cold!"

"Wouldn't it be smart to just let him keep his jacket?" That was Engie.

"Oh, Mr. Engie…you do not understand that power that my jacket possesses!"

Sniper felt the ghost of a smile on his lips and shook his head, falling back onto the bed. He huddled into a ball under the thick jacket, enjoying the warmth it provided. The strong smell of tea and mint lulled him into a slumber.

Life definitely had a fucked up way of giving him happiness.


End file.
